In my personal devotions each morning, after I read the Bible, I always read a chapter from a good book or devotional guide. I would like to share the devotion I read today. It pretty well describes my feelings.
This devotion comes from Walk with me up the Mountain By Steven G. Beam, President and Founder of Missionary Ventures International in Orlando.
"Have Faith"
"It had been a hard mission trip. There were lots of problems to be solved along the way. Every missionary I met had incredible circumstances to overcome that only God could handle. We prayed and prayed.
Several of the projects (schools, clinics, orphanages, Bible Schools) needed more money and the shortfall was way more than we had. On top of this, my plane had to make an emergency landing on the way home. The compression went out at 40,000 feet but the pilot was smart enough to drop to 9,000 so we could all breathe. My nerves were shot.
So after the Sunday service, I was so burdened with problems from around the globe – needing $130,000 by Friday, ill missionaries, trying to solve a conflict that could erupt and destroy our work in a country – to just name a few. I had to go to the altar at the end of the service to pray. A well meaning elder came forward and prayed with me.
After we prayed, he looked me in the eye and said, "Just have faith, my brother."
"HAVE FAITH! That is easy for you to say," I thought. You have a secure job, a secure paycheck, insurances for everything including every possession you own, you have large amount money in the bank, you have a comfortable home, and a church, and work. How can you tell me to HAVE FAITH?
I cannot tell you how many people have come to me with words like:
"Trust the Lord."
"God always comes through."
"God will take care of everything."
"God does not intend for you to carry these things on your own."
"You are trying to do too much."
"You are living in fear."
To be honest with you, all these words are true, right, good, and pure. They should be stamped on my heart so I do not forget them. But I find that my faith ride can be a bit like riding a roller coaster. One minute I am ready to tackle the most difficult assignment, but the next day, I am rethinking my sanity. And I just plain get afraid. Yes, sometimes words are not enough.
Most of the time, those who do not have to believe God for anything deliver those words. It is easy to say all of this when you do not have to believe God for your monthly support, for visas, for rent, for food, for gas, for health, for retirement, for funds for projects, for people in the ministry, for travel, for everything. Complete dependency of the Lord for everything, everyday, all the time is hard for me. I have to pray continually, listen intently, submit repeatedly, control my emotions, fight fear, grasp God's promises with all my might, and just hang on. The ride will stop shortly.
Thought for today: It is ironic that sometimes we have to work at relaxing. Sometimes it is just plain hard to rest in the will and promises of God. Most of the time there is peace and rest. But sometimes we have to work at getting back to that place of peace. It is kind of like a little child who lets go of her fathers hand and then needs to find it again. I am so grateful that God does not move and is easily found.
Prayer for today: Lord, I trust you, but I struggle with my humanity.
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